2 years ago, we came very close to losing my dad when he got a staph infection in his spine (the neck area) which then went to the heart. Had it not been detected when it was and treated aggressively, he would have died within 24 hours.
Knowing this, the dr. decided to test for staph after this last surgery, and sure enough, he's got it again. Nobody can say whether it remained dormant in his system all this time or if he contracted it at the Kevorkian Care Center aka rehab center. Either way, it sets him back yet again. He'll be on strong antibiotics given intravenously for 2 months and didn't get to come home yesterday as we had hoped.
My dad is a strong man both physically and spiritually so I've no doubt he's going to recover, but I just feel so badly for him. It really took the wind out of his sails yesterday.
The upside is that he IS feeling better! He was able to walk and lie down yesterday without pain so that is wonderful! They are checking to see if the infection is in his blood, but if his pink cheeks and strength are any indication, (and I'm sure they are!) I think we caught it in time.
This trip has been much more trying. My guys have all been so wonderfully supportive and capable but I know they miss me. And I miss them. And I'm just so ready for life to get back to a normal routine.
Crazy-In-Love Sister finally made it home. She is now "Crazier-In-Love-Than-Before Sister". It certainly will be interesting to see how this one plays out. My parents are starting to suspect something. My mom made an off-handed comment the other day saying, "Maybe she's got a boyfriend in Brazil!" to which I immediately assumed the "Don't look at me! I don't know nothin' and even if I did, I've been sworn to secrecy so STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!" posture. I'm sure I pulled it off--God knows I have plenty of experience with it. :-P
I had this email waiting for me this afternoon:
Hay you onederful woman! Its grate to here that yore dad is doing well.(Aren't synomyms fun?)....But about your back :( Don't overdo it, you may need that backbone later.
Yesterday was fun. Jan (edit: carpool chick) said she would pick up Natedog, even though Robbie (her son) didn't go to school, so it was a much appreciated help. Until I got a call...
[Nate]: "Hi dad, I'm in the office [happy, chipper little voice]. Mrs. Hecky didn't show up to pick me up".
(Did I mention I was inside a meeting room on a live telecon with Lockheed-Martin at the time I got the call?) =O.
"OK little Buddy, let me find out what's going on and I'll call you right back."
"That's OK dad, I'll call her. I know her number."
"OK, but call me right back after you find out where she is, if she's coming,..."
[Spencer]: "Dad, do you know where Nate is, Mrs. Hecky called to find where he is?"
[Nate]: "She's not home, Dad."
"OK, stay in the office and wait to see if you just missed each other. I'll call you right back in just a minute."
Lockheed-Martin: "So, those requirements for radial center of gravity will need to be ....blah, blah...."
"Hi Dad, I'm on my way home now. Mrs. Hecky was looking in the front of the building, and I was in the back, but we finally saw each other."
[Whispering away from the table in the meeting room]: "That's great Little Buddy. I'm glad everything worked out. I'll call you in a few minutes at home."
[Lockheed-Martin]: "...so isn't that right?" "Uhm,...yes." (What did I say 'yes' to just now?)
So, everything ended happily ever after. I was actually quite peaceful throughout the entire episode. Such is life.. See all you're missing! Write when you can. Love you.
Round 2 with dad went well. He came out of surgery last night around 7 pm. The dr. is hopeful that he's going to be pain free now and so are we!
Got an email from Crazy-In-Love Sister to say she is on her way home from Brazil. She ended it with: "Love Love Love You!!!" I'm gonna step out on a limb here and say her trip went well. oy...
It's said that it's the little things in life that count. I wholeheartedly agree! brought my pillow with me this trip and I slept so well! I'm never leaving that thing ever again. It's my woobie and I love it! :-P
And one more bit of happy news--It's official: I passed my real estate exam. YAY!!!
Hope everyone's day is great! Talk to you soon!
I'm just now getting around to telling you all that I took my real estate exam on Thursday. I had agonized over this test for months because I'd heard it was a beast so I felt much like a lamb being led to the slaughter when I filed into the exam room with about 150 people. The guy to my left seemed to enjoy telling me he had taken it before and failed--and that he had taken a full week off work this time to study and that the math was the worst part. Ugh. What a punk. The girl to my right-Jackie-and I made friends in the parking garage so we comforted one another before the exam started. She was a sweetie.
Something that worked in my favor was that I was so tired...so emotionally and physically drained, I didn't have the energy to be nervous. Going in with low expectations also alleviated some of the pressure. hehe...
They allotted 3 1/2 hrs. to complete the test. I finished it in 2 hours. I told my husband "If I didnt pass this test, I have absolutely no business being in real estate because I'm so stupid, I don't even know what it is that I don't know." All the build-up and it was far easier than I had anticipated. Guess that studying thing really works! ;-)
Anyway....I have to wait til the 29th to find out the results but I feel really good about it! YAY!!!
I was really looking forward to a respite from the craziness but it looks like I'll be leaving again for S. California tomorrow. My dad's not doing well. When the dr. went in the first time, he spent several hours removing bone spurs from the nerve. He decided to stop because he felt to go further was too dangerous. Unfortunately, the pain has not subsided and the infection has only increased so they've decided to go back in on Monday to remove the remaining spurs and deal with the infection.
In addition to my dad's situation, my brother, Steve, was in a plane accident 2 weeks ago. He has undergone his second operation and we are just praying and believing for a good report soon. Some of you already knew this--I'm sorry I'm just now telling the rest. He is career military so we've grown somewhat accustomed to high-drama. Still...you never really get used to someone you love being in harms way 24/7.
In spite of trying times, I never forget how blessed I am. I have everything a person could ask for--a wonderful husband, children who make me proud, family I adore, friends who are more like family, every material possession a person needs plus a surplus of wants, as well. And yet all of that pales in comparison to the Love of a God who sacrificed everything for me. He takes my breath away with His extravagant love and unending mercy. I am in awe daily.
Happy Easter my friends! I will talk to you soon!
Ok...so nearly 2 weeks ago, Jim from Snooze Button Dreams took the great effort to send a very detailed "how-to" guide to set up my blogroll.
When I opened the text file today, I was seriously concerned when I realized there were no pretty pictures to guide me, but being the fricking evil genius he is, he made it so dang simple, I'd have to be Anna Nicole Smith not to figure it out!
I've only got a few on here because I thought I should find out if I was screwing something up before I continued. So far...nothing's broken! YAY JIM!!!
So...I'm going to go watch Finding Neverland and if I'm not too sleepy, I'll come back and work on The Bad Example Family.
Oh...and thanks, Jim! You rock! (for an evil genius, that is!) ;-)
...unless you're Terri Schiavo. She's no longer able to tell anybody what she wants. So her husband, her family and the courts have decided they will speak for her.
It's clear her husband has a very serious conflict of interest and yet he is her husband, if only in the legal sense of the word, and by all rights, should be the one to communicate her wishes. I just have a hard time trusting this man's motives. It's quite clear he'd like to move on with his life. His two children with a woman NOT Terri more than suggests that.
It's also clear there are merited claims that Terri hasn't fully "checked out" but because he has permitted very little medical testing in the recent years, we are left to take his word for it. Does anybody else have a problem with this? At what point do we decide a life is no longer valuable? When we can no longer measure it through scientifically/medically approved methods? When the term "valuable" changes? God help every retarded child, every Down's Syndrome child, every stroke victim. God help us all.
I cannot begin to imagine the agony Terri's family is facing. Here are people who love her, who are prepared to care for her til her "natural and unforced" end comes because they still see "Terri" behind those eyes and this man refuses it with some twisted logic that "this is what Terri wanted". I don't believe she "wanted" him to have children with a woman while they were still married but that didn't seem to matter. I don't believe she "wanted" him to callously disregard her family and their suffering and yet he has. Somehow, what Terri "wanted" only seems to matter if it benefits him. She really should be ashamed of herself for living so damn long. And her parents should be chastised swiftly and brutally for so selfishly wanting to dedicate their entire lives to her care just so they can have the pleasure of her company. Curse the doctors who kept her alive through medicines and machines! They're all selfish bastards! Every last one of them!
I won't even begin to conjecture as to whether the government has overstepped its proper boundaries. I'll leave that to the professionals. I will, however, state that the fact that it got this far makes me shudder with fear.
The bottom line is that this isn't about Terri because there's no possible way to know what she--in the state she is in this very moment-wants. All we know is her husband wants her dead, her family wants her to live, and the courts have now decided they'll make the decision for her. It is disturbing, repulsive and tragic for every possible reason.
Edit: I have a friend whose wife suffered an aneurysm about 7 years ago. I've watched him faithfully care for their 3 young children by himself. I've watched him lovingly tend to his wife who is in a nursing facility. I've seen him go without the love and tenderness of a partner not because he couldn't but because he chose to honor and love his wife "until death do us part". One day, his children will be old enough to know how worthy of respect their dad is. Until then, they just know that every Saturday, Daddy takes Mommy out on a date and even if she doesn't know he's there he dotes on her and cherishes her for the woman she was because that's the woman he still sees. This is the definition of a hero and I am honored to call him my friend.
I realize I've been out of the current events loop lately but this story is news to me:
We all saw the steady deterioration of a sick and struggling Yasser Arafat (search) in his final weeks. But one Palestinian official insists Arafat did not die from his illnesses and that he was actually killed by two Israelis who used a high-tech laser as a weapon. Attalah Quiba, Palestinian ambassador to Sri Lanka (search), says the two unnamed men "tried to flee after using the [laser] device but were wrestled down by Palestinian Security personnel."
What's more, Quiba, quoted by the Malaysian National News Agency, says 16 countries tested Arafat’s blood, and they determined that Arafat had been poisoned by high technology. Quiba says he was with Arafat a few days before he died, and "He was in good health and good spirits."
I would expect the veracity of this statement to be called into question, but in the end, all that matters is that he's dead. Thankfully.
There are a few details I failed to mention about my sister and her new love interest:
After she got back from Brazil, she informed me she's moving there in two months AND they're planning to get married. :-O
She's thinking of telling my parents she's going to Brazil to work with children (which is what she hopes to do for work) and then let them think she met him while she was there. Of course, stupid loyal dumb-ass sister is expected to corraborate this story. Stupid dumb-ass sister will NOT be lying for her this time. >:-(
Oh! Did I forget to mention he was raised by nuns? He may as well have been raised by wolves for all the comfort that brings me. :-/
Anyway…Carole has been married once (no kids) and engaged a handful of times…but I think I can honestly say she’s never been in love. Until now.
Last month my sister went to Brazil with some friends and, as she put it, “met a boy”. Yes, my 42 year old sister said “boy” not “man”. Then she giggled. My sister giggled. My sister doesn’t giggle. She chortles and even snickers, but she does not giggle. Only she did. I heard it with my very own ears.
Then she did something so unlike her, it left me speechless: she started babbling incoherently. I distinctly recall the words “Somebody tell me what to do…I don’t know what to do….” tumble out of her mouth.
Now you need to understand something-- my sister lives in downtown San Francisco. She lives by herself. She knows how to take care of herself just fine, thank you; so somebody please explain this “tell me what to do” crap! WHO IS THIS PERSON INHABITING MY SISTER’S BODY???
I’ve never seen her like this…I don’t know what to do with her! She used to roll her eyes at me for talking to friends online…now she confesses to talking to Leo (pronounced Lay-oh which rhymes with MURDERER!!!) for 8 hours on messenger. The kicker is that Lay-oh only speaks Portuguese and she only speaks English. So they have an online translator that turns “our chemistry is perfect!” to “all our chemicals are correct!” Lovely. Just fricking lovely.
Being her only sister, I have the enviable position of being the only family member she’s told about Lay-oh-sweet-Jesus-tell-me-it-isn’t-so. She plans on telling the family eventually—once she sees where things are going but until then, mums the word.
Which reminds me of the time my sister and a few of her high school friends decided to drive 8 hours to L.A. to visit some boys they had met one Friday night. She came into my room around 1 am and said:
“We’re going to L.A. We’ll be home tomorrow night…tell Mom and Dad I’m spending the night at Wendy’s house…then we’re going shopping then a movie and I’ll be home around 10pm.”I hated her for that! I had to lie because I was the younger dumber sister! I couldn’t be the younger sister with an axe to grind…oh no…I had to be the loyal to a fault sister. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
So I called my sister tonight to update her on our dad’s progress and she tells me she’s on her way to Brazil and “tell Mom and Dad I’m shopping with Wendy and I’ll be home after the movie Monday night...” or something like that. The room got dark and started spinning and that’s all I remember…
did you notice my font is big again? I so smaht!
Betcha thought I wasn't coming back, huh! It's been crazy-busy... I "extracted" my dad from the nut-house on Saturday...I think he was starting to like it there! oy...
I don't think his nurses were accustomed to caring for people who are actually supposed to live, consequently, they never changed his bandages and he got an infection. He's doing well in spite of the inept care and was actually a model patient. I told him he needed to be a little nasty so I wasn't forced to put a bumper sticker on my car stating, "My dad was patient of the month at the loony bin". You all know how I feel about bumper stickers! :-)~
I came home Sunday and have been running ever since. I'm supposed to take a real-estate exam on Thursday but I'm just not ready for it. I'm going to take it anyway, because I have dragged my butt long enough. I'm studying and stressing and pretty much cracking under the pressure.
As I've gotten older, I've learned to deal with stress much differently than when I was young. In my earlier days, I would try to handle everything--as though it would prove that I was a capable adult or something equally pretentious. These days, I'm no longer willing to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders to prove anything to anyone, including myself. I crumble at the first sight of stress because I just do not want to go there ever again. Maybe that's the advantage of age and experience--you conserve energy because you learn that some things are not worthy of your emotional attention.
Dealing with my parents was a type of situation I've learned to handle pretty well. I knew what I had to do--I focused on the imperatives and blocked out everything else. When my mom was upset because we had to make yet another run to the pharmacy, I was able to remain calm. When the dr. said my dad's incision was infected, I was able to address the situation effectively without getting emotionally worked up. As busy as I was, everything was under control.
Where things begin to get problematic is when the demands of life start piling up, one on top of another, and there's no possible way to manage them all. That's when the crying starts. I'm one of those pitiful individuals who cries when she's stressed. Remember Holly Hunter in Broadcast News? Every day at a certain time, she would lock her office door and start bawling like a baby for a good 10 minutes. That was how she managed the daily stress in her life. It really does help! Not that the situation changes but the build-up of emotional pressure is alleviated. So I've been crying a lot this week. I resent that I can't manage everything on my plate but I'm smart enough to know not to even try. I still hate feeling overwhelmed and under-equipped but I know this frenetic pace will end soon and life will become manageable once again.
In the meantime...anybody got a tissue?
Well, it's been a good day. My flight was delightfully uneventful. The best part was flying past Catalina Island. My husband and I celebrated our 20th anniversary there this past summer and it brought back wonderful memories making me long for a reeeal vacation again!
And I got to see my dad, too. He looks great! My dad is one of those guys who always manages to find the humor in any situation. This is a good thing given the fact that he's now in a rehab center/nursing home. I walked down the hall to his room and there were about 9 wheelchair-bound "residents" lined up along the wall outside his room. They sit there throughout the day babbling and drooling and whatnot and all I can say is, it was quite a sight and there's a good chance I may be scarred for life from that brief experience. The upside is that he and his roomie are enjoying the show. ha!
I'm staying until Sunday then my sister, who arrives on Saturday, will take over. That gives us one day to cause trouble together! YAY!!!
Well, I'm off to bed. It's been a long day! Take care all!
...don't know when I'll be back again. hehe...
I'm flying out Tuesday AM for S. California to tend to the parents. It's odd how life begins to reverse itself. 17 years ago today, my mother was taking care of me as I had just brought my firstborn home from the hospital. It's hard to believe so much time has passed...My folks are reaching that season in life where they are becoming dependent on their children while at the same time, my son is just beginning to enjoy the taste of independence. It's all good, if not a bit disorienting at times. Regardless of the changes life brings, one thing remains the same: I am a truly blessed woman.
...come across a person that made you think "This was just a friend I'd yet to meet!" within moments of meeting them? I had that experience twice yesterday.
The first happened after a long morning walk along the American River. To preface just a bit, my husband had been encouraging me during our walk to buy a bike so I could join him in his passion for biking. Now he's like the uber-biker dude and I'm like the uber-lard-@$$ chick but all his whining and cajoling finally inspired me to shut him up, so I consented. ;-) The moment we reached the end of the trail, he took me across the street to a bike store. Ugh. Like most women, I hate going out in public when I have no make-up on so imagine my delight at having no make-up on AND being a sweaty mess AND being hungry AND having my favorite breakfast hang-out just a stones throw away. Mmm....yeah...I was a tad grumpy.
So Kirk (that's my husband--I suppose I should tell you his name, huh!) heads right to the bikes and I'm just standing there, sweating like Richard Simmons at a Diana Ross drag-queen convention (i have no idea what that meant, but I bet Jerry does) when this guy walks up (an employee) and starts laughing at me because I am an oh-so lovely mess. Well, I shot a snarky comment his way and Sweet-Jesus, that boy volleyed one back at me! It was like Lucy had met her Ethel. Only Ethel was a guy. We had the SAME sense of humor and even made the same stupid jokes! Kirk kept trying to ask him questions about bikes but I shushed him repeatedly telling him "Do you mind! We're bonding!"
Before I left, we agreed that he was Pinky and I was The Brain and that as soon as I ate, I'd come back so we could "take over the world". As I walked away, knowing I'd probably never see him again, my heart was full because I had met a kindred-spirit. My husband laughed and maaaaybe he rolled his eyes just a little bit then took my hand in his and led me to the cafe.
Later in the evening when I read "Because We Have Thumbs" I knew I'd found another friend. Two posts into this week old blog I was hooked. "Sarah the Penguin" made me laugh instantly and repeatedly, which, I might add, met the only two requirements for being my friend.
All in all, I'd call yesterday a good day. And if you haven't gone over and checked out Sarah the Penguin's new blog, you just might wanna. I won't be surprised if you, too, find a new friend there. :-)
...how bad The Flight of the Phoenix is? Ok...I did but it seems I didn't fully expunge my hatred of this movie from my soul. I will attempt to do so now.
You see, some movies can be bad without being offensively bad. Troy was bad but disappointingly bad. It had all the makings of a grand and epic film but the cheesy dialogue ruined it. Napoleon Dynamite was bad because it made me laugh against my will. I resent that greatly.
This movie, however, falls into the "I HATE YOU BECAUSE YOU INSULTED EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING!" bad. To say the acting was weak would be kind. To say the characters were unsympathetic would fall short in a myriad of ways. Cloying, pathetic, exasperatingly unredemptive would be far more accurate. I wanted every last one of them to die a long and painful death. I still want that nearly 24 hours later. There's even a good chance I will dream about it tonight. Fire will be involved.
The script. What to say about the script... Might I suggest: Insipidly moronic? There was not one believable moment in the entire movie. Whoever wrote it should be made to watch this film repeatedly while enduring days upon days of sleep deprivation and a gassy stomach. I will even go so far as to say I hate whoever it was that made this movie. I hate him so much, I don't even want to search out his name. He will now and forever more be known as "the man I hate with an everlasting hatred but whose name I do not know."
God, I hate that man.
So alrighty then...I'm feeling much better. How 'bout you?
So I've made it through my first 2 weeks as a bona fide blogger. Cool. I know I've said this before but the last thing I ever expected when I started this blog was that people would actually read it!
It's one thing to have your friends pop in every month or so and give you the obligatory "pat on the back" but these freaks just keep coming back! WOW! And what makes it especially wonderful is that these are people I love dearly but don't get to see very often for geographical reasons. What makes it absolutely the best part of my day is when my old and new friends are all in the "same room", kibitzing with one another just like old times. It does my heart good, dear friends. Thank you for coming. I wish I could offer you a cappuccino and some Girl Scout cookies so you'd stay longer! ;-)
The other thing that has been a very unexpected and happy surprise is having people I don't know read it. Because you're all bloggers, you'll understand how I feel when I see your comments. It just tickles me Elmo!
I also wanted to say that I feel bad that while I've read your blogs, I've not made my presence known except occasionally. When my life slows down (hopefully in the next month or so) I'll have more time to play. Since starting this thing, I've hardly even made it to my old cyber haunts like IMAO. (I know...it's almost as shameful as admitting you voted for Kerry.) When I do get over there, the only posts I read are Harvey's just so I can see how naughty he's being. ;-)
On a slightly different note, another thing I didn't expect was the pressure. It was only a matter of hours before I realized that this blogging thing could become all-consuming in just a blink of the eye if allowed to happen. By nature, I'm a pleaser--I like making people happy and so when I know people are hitting that refresh button, or wandering over with a coffee cup in hand each morning, I hate to disappoint you with nothing, or worse, a piece-of-crap post. In fact, there was one post that I am very tempted to delete because it was such an effort. I was trying to be funny and I didn't feel funny at the time but I wanted you to have funny...so I tried. I made a decision afterwards that I'm not going to try that hard ever again. When I started this, I had it in my mind that I would post when I felt inspired to do so. Some days you just feel the need to put your thoughts in writing, and other days, you're just blank.
Something I'm still mulling around is the question, "How personal do I want to get here?" Some people just let it all hang out on their blogs. You get the good, the bad and the ugly. But aside from flaunting the fact that I'm a silly snark, I'm generally cautious about who knows what about me in "the real world" (I hate that term!). Still...some things aren't all that personal, I just wonder if you'd be interested.
Which leads me to another thought: Some people will never exhaust their ability to post because they can be funny about the most random stuff. I have no idea how some of you keep pumping out the funny! I'm truly impressed.
And yet another disjointed thought: Do all of you other bloggers have people in your life that don't know you have a blog and you'd deny it if ever accused? The reason I ask is because I realize that there are only a handful of friends/family/co-workers/etc., that I would want reading this. Maybe it's because I want the freedom to talk about them without getting caught! ha!
Anyway, I know this was a bit rambly...I'm just trying to get my relationship with this blog figured out. I'm sure I'll find a groove that works for all of us. Til then...thanks for stopping by and saying hi. It means so very much.
I saw Flight Of The Phoenix with Dennis Quaid last night.
Watching that movie reminded me of a few other experiences that illicited a similiar response--like the time I got my hand slammed in the car door. That was fun. Or what about the time I spent 24 hours in labor. Now we're talkin'! And of course, what would a stroll down memory lane be without mentioning the time my mom and I hit a freeway divider going 70 mph's. Ahhh....good times.
So if you're lookin' to end your life with an icepick to both eyes and ears, rent this movie today! You WON'T be disappointed!
What Random Object Represents Your Inner Self?
I'm a sock:
You are a cozy, fuzzy, warm-hearted person. A lot of your friends describe you as a hopeless romantic. You fall for the opposite sex very easily. But be careful, because usually you don't know what you are getting into, and because you are very sensitive, you can get hurt... especially in early relationships. Also, don't exclude the cold-hearted from your "want-list", because they just might be looking for a kind person to warm up their heart.... or a sock to warm up their feet.
Most compatible with: Toilet paper.
This link brought to you by kball, the best darn drumstick around. ;-)
Blogger SUCKS!
I'm having the worst time posting! It deleted my first attempt to post the "Happy Birthday, Buffa" post so I had to type it again. Then it posted both of them. Then it wouldn't let me delete either of them. So yes, i know there are two posts up there, just consider one a "back-up" post for the Back-up Birthday. Oy....I need to go read that letter again...
[Edit: ok, this *$&%)@#* thing won't post either. So here goes a second time around. If it posts twice, all I can say is "UGH".
[Edit: third time's a charm?]
Blogger SUCKS!
I'm having the worst time posting! It deleted my first attempt to post the "Happy Birthday, Buffa" post so I had to type it again. Then it posted both of them. Then it wouldn't let me delete either of them. So yes, i know there are two posts up there, just consider one a "back-up" post for the Back-up Birthday. Oy....I need to go read that letter again...
Today is my youngest brother's back-up birthday. What is a back-up birthday, you ask? A back-up birthday is the day you celebrate a person's birthday in the event that you forgot the original birthdate. Jeff or "Buffa" is the only person in our family with a back-up birthday and here's why:
It seems that my dear mother--having already given birth to 4 children--was a bit loopy in the head by the time her fifth, Jeff, came along and got his birthdate wrong. :-( For 18 years we celebrated his birthday on March 10th when he was actually born on February 16th.
If it wasn't so dang funny, it would be down-right pathetic. Fortunately for us, he has a great sense of humor about it.
So here's to you, Buffa! I hope you have a wonderful day. Again. Just in case we forgot to say it the first time around. ;-)
And for any of you in the Dallas area, you can go have lunch on him here. Just make sure to ask for Chef Jeff and tell him "Weezie" sent ya! ;-)
This is the note we found waiting for us when we woke up this morning:
Dear mom and dad
1. I would like you to know that I love you more than 5,000,000,000 Gold Bricks!
2. I also love you two more than $1,000,000,000,000 and more than the world supply of fudge, chocolet, candy and GOLD!!!!!!
remember treasure isn't just gold, silver and jewels, it is also best friends and the worlds best mom and dad!
If that's not the sweetest way to wake up, I don't know what is!
I'm happy to report that my dad made it through surgery just fine. The doctors removed the disk then fused the spine. As bad as that sounds, it's much better than the pain he was suffering with.
I'll be heading to S. Ca. in a week or two to play Nurse Ratchet on him and if that's not incentive to get well, I don't know what is! ;-)
Dear Jim,
It has come to my attention that many of my blog fans (Ok, 2 and 1 may not count cause he's a fricking hillbilly) are having trouble posting comments to tell me how wonderful I am. Do you have any idea as to why that would be occurring? It can't possibly be that they're just lying to me and don't actually want to post so it must be technical. Any ideas, oh Great One?
Your hasty reply is appreciated as I thrive on adulation.
Cordially,
Pam
I pulled up to a stop light yesterday and there was this big SUV right in front of me. This thing must have cost at least 40k which led me to wonder:
Why-oh-why, good person, would you spend that much money on a vehicle only to deface it with no less than TEN bumperstickers and window decals?
Now, I have to confess that I've never understood the need to use your car as a means to state your convictions or to showcase your spectacular wit but this was just beyond stupid. If you're going to use your vehicle as a traveling billboard, put something original on it, for crying out loud! How many things can Calvin pee on before it's just not funny anymore?
There was also the ever popular "My child was student of the month at Blah Blah Blah School" which makes me wanna pull up to the driver and yell, "Yeah? Well my child was inmate of the month at Folsom Prison, lady. Beat that!"
To add insult to injury, there was that always wise, and I should add, theologically sound, "Don't drive faster than your angel can fly!" piece of advice. Thanks, pal, I'll keep that in mind when I finally make it around you because you think a 50mph zone really means 35.
And of course, what would a montage of clever sayings be without the mother of all them all?
"Christian's aren't perfect, just forgiven".
Kill. Me. Now.
Please understand, I don't mean to be nasty to God-fearing believers, but, why? Why do people feel the need to share their faith in such a trite manner as though God can be reduced to a simple one-liner? Somehow, I think we're missing the point.
And that goes the same [Edit: make that double! No TRIPLE!] for all the tree-hugging, tibet-freeing, whale-kissing, give-peace-a-chance people out there. Do me a favor, people. Drive. Just drive. All I ask of you is that you get that ugly hybrid of a car up to speed and out of my way.
While all of these are nothing more than annoying, I get furious when I see those that are sexually explicit or have profanity. Is there no decency in this world anymore? Do people not realize there are children reading this garbage? There was a time when society, as a whole, guarded our children-because it was right, but it's not that way anymore and it just brings out the latent urge to take a baseball bat to a few cars. Anyone wanna join me?
Why is it that some people, when confronted with fear or danger or simply a stressful situation, start laughing?
This morning I was heading to the gym to work out (be impressed!) when I got a call from my mom telling me my dad had been taken to the ER for severe back pain. After all the x-rays came back, they determined he had a collapsed disk and promptly scheduled surgery for tomorrow.
Now normal people would assume a respectful demeanor, but not us! Oh no…that was simply our cue to pull out the one-liners. It started with my mom saying he looked like he was on a “two-buck chuck” binge (that's $2 wine made by Charles Shaw) after they'd given him painkillers, then my sister made comments about buying Mom and Dad a tandem wheelchair. A few more wisecracks were tossed around and it was all downhill from there...
It really is a horrible trait but it just comes so naturally to us. When my little 96 year old grandfather was down to his last days, my sister took his sweet face into her hands and with all seriousness said to him “Grandpa! If you see ‘the light’ STAY AWAY! Do you hear me? STAY AWAY FROM THE LIGHT!” Poor Grandpa...may he rest in peace.
My oldest brother, Steve, is the same way. My second brother, Ron, tells how one day when he was about 17, he was driving to his girlfriend's house out in the country and just as he was getting off the freeway, he saw a guy flagging him down as he ran towards Ron's beat-up VW Bug. Now normally that would be cause to drive faster but seeing as it was his BROTHER, he thought maybe he should pull over. So he did and Steve hurriedly climbed in shouting, “GO! GO!” Ron, being only slightly obtuse, realized the wisdom in this directive about the time the THIRD bullet whizzed past his head. He said the whole time he was fleeing for his life at 27 mph (from what he later learned were car-thieves) Steve was laughing hysterically. Who does that???
I also remember the time when I was about 12 years old and somebody was breaking into my friends home while we were there alone. She was screaming hysterically while curled up in the fetal position and hiding under a table and I was doubled over laughing.
It really is a strange response and yet I know I'm not the only one out there who does this. So I'm betting there are a few of you who can regale us with a good "funeral" story or two! Anyone?
So I got my hot coffee which is actually warm green tea and now for a quick perusal of the headlines...
FoxNews says: Bolton Faces Senate Fight. I hope Michael decided to lose the mullet. Who wants a U.N. Ambassador with a stringy mullet? ew.
Hmm...says the minimum wage hike was defeated. Looks like it's time for the Hail Mary. Whatever that is.
Oh my...apparently a bare-breasted woman was protesting Prince Charles' arrival in New Zealand. Let us have a look-see, shall we??? Ehh..it's obvious she hasn't had 3 children. :-/
Oh look at this! Smoking Pill Shows Promise I bet the Bic Lighter people aren't happy that all you have to do is swallow your cigarette to get the same affect. If they're smart, they'll diversify and go into the water business.
Ok...I'm bored here. Let's go see what Matt Drudge has found for today...
HOLY CRAP!! SHE'S BACK!!! Ter-aaaaayza says, "ELECTION WAS HACKED!" Lord....can't we just kill her and tell You she died? Pweeeeease???
Oh brother....it says here "Playground insults banned". When are these booger-eating morons gonna stop whining like sissy-girls everytime some little kid gets sand thrown on them? We're gonna have a generation of sniveling, whining emotional infants claiming "she wasnt nice to me...I deserve $4million for damages" running this world in a few years.(they're called Democrats!) And FYI...there ain't no "Yard Duty" to go running to at work so ya better toughen up, ya big babies. Grrrr....
Ok...That's it for the headlines...
P.S. Ms. Stern--there's a scone waitin' fer ya, if you can get here before Natie eats it!
The last two mornings I've woken up and stumbled to the computer thinking "Ohhh...I wonder what's waiting for me at Camp HappyBadFun!" only to be slapped with the sudden realization that I am Camp HappyBadFun and if I don't post something, there won't be nothin' waitin' for nobody!
So uh....now that the honeymoon is over...let me get some coffee and I'll see what I can do about that. Back in a bit...
Matt Drudge links to this. Personally, I think Jimmy needs to mind his own dang business.
And Arnold Schwarzenegger Wants School Junk Food Banned. How much do you wanna bet he watched "Supersize Me" over the weekend?
What's this? Hilary Clinton wants to visit North Korea? If we send her with her sleeping bag can she stay???
If Bill Clinton keeps it up, I just might have to start respecting him.
I’m sitting outside Crate and Barrel, chillin' with my friend "Q" when my phone rings:
Nate-dawg: MOM! Do you wanna hear some REALLY GOOD NEWS!?!
Me: I would love to hear some really good news.
N-d: My principal won $2000 and guess what she did with it!
Me: Tell me.
N-d: She bought every kid in the third grade a dictionary!
Me. You.Are. Kidding. Me.
N-d: I'm not!
N-d: Guess what else.
Me: What?
N-d: I was looking in my dictionary and the "A" word is in it.
Me: Is that so?
N-d: Uhu. You wanna hear what it says?
Me: Uhhhm....I suppose I better.
N-d: "1. An animal that is closely related to the horse but smaller and has longer ears; donkey. 2. A stupid or silly person.
Me: Yep, that's what it means.
N-d: I have more bad news.
Me: Hit me.
N-d: I found the "A" word in the Bible, too.
Me: Oh yeah?
N-d: But it means "donkey" in the Bible.
Me: Well, it's not always a bad word then, is it?
N-d: Nope...we just can't use it with "dumb" or "fat" or "hole", right?
Me: Uhh....that would be correct, but Nate? Maybe we oughtta just stick with "donkey" ok?
N-d: Ok, Mom. Mom?
Me: Yes?
N-d: I found another cool word. Assassin. Wanna hear what it means?
Me: Sure.
N-d: "A person who murders someone important, such as a government leader."
Me: You read that really well.
N-d: It's a cool word isn't it?
Me: It sure is, but, I need to go now, pal.
N-d: Ok. I love you, Mom.
Me: I love you too, Natie. See you in a little while.
N-d: Ok.
Remember the movie "City Slickers" with Billy Crystal? He played this guy going through a mid-life crisis so he and his buddies decided to take two weeks out of their lives and work a cattle drive from New Mexico to Colorado. Ringing any bells, yet? Good.
It was a funny movie made even funnier by Jack Palance who played this crusty ol' cattlehand that scared the bejeebers out of everyone and knew it and liked it.
The most pivotal moment in the movie came when Curly raised an index finger and said --and bear with me, I'm working off memory here-- "One thing." He left them to ponder that "One thing" but being the dufus-heads that they were, they didn't quite get it until he spelled it out for them.
"One thing" represented that "One thing" in life they were meant to do. That "One thing" that they could do better than anybody else. That "One thing" that would define each of them for life and thus bring satisfaction and a sense of purpose.
Now for some reason, that had a profound impact on me. I didn't realize it but for the next 15 years, I went about looking for that "One thing". I just knew that out there in the great cosmic unknown was that "One thing" that I was meant to do. The problem was, there was nothing about me that was unique. Nothing that said, "Girl, you got a gift that the world can't deny." Nothing. I was hopelessly, painfully, desperately average.
I looked around and I saw people who were so gifted that there was nothing else they could do but that "One thing". I wanted to be one of those people. Tiger Woods found his "One thing", Condi Rice found her "One thing"...where was my "One thing"? How was I ever going to make a difference in this life if I couldn't find my "One thing"?
So, I spent the next 15 years looking for it. I did anything and everything that was asked of me in hopes of finding it. I knew that once I found that critical piece of the puzzle, everything would come together and life would be grand. Right.
Here's what I learned about Curly's "One thing":
Maybe for a few people, there IS "One thing", but for most of us, it's not about "One thing", it's about "Many things". I don't have one talent that defines me, one skill that seperates me from the rest, one area of expertise that makes me stand out. I'm like most people--I do a lot of things--maybe not better than anybody else but there's one thing I HAVE learned and that is: finding someone willing to take on the task is 90% of the battle.
And I've been more than willing to do whatever needed to be done. I've taught kids that weren't my own, played "jr. accountant", I've painted walls, scrubbed toilets, washed linens, sang off-key, cooked for the masses, pulled weeds, and made meals for sick people I didn't know. ALL of which could have been done by somebody more skilled than me.
Would I love to have that "One thing"? You betcha, but I've learned that what's really needed in life is people who have "Many things" to offer, not just one. So I'm content now to do whatever needs to be done.
There's an old saying that goes "Many hands make light work." It's enough for me to just be another hand because in the end, it's not "One thing" that makes the difference, it's "Many things".
I stated in an earlier post that I wanted to introduce my "old” friends to my "new" friends.
Jonag is my first pick because many of you are already familiar with her from her comments at IMAO and elsewhere and because the only other person here that I've known longer is Bob (Bear) and being the gentleman that he is, he'll insist, "ladies, first". Besides, his story intersects with hers so I'll lay the foundation for both their stories here.
Jonag and I met sometime in either late 1984 or 1985. I was a newlywed and she was this beautiful, bubbly, slightly wild but VERY funny auburn-headed girl who had a laugh like no other and had just walked into our dear friend Joey's life. I'm going to have to back up, though...
I met Joey when I was 16. He was in a youth choir that was traveling the states one summer and he wound up staying in my home with a few other choir mates. I can't say I spent much time getting to know him (there were WAY too many guys to be checking out to limit myself to one! ha) but 2 years later....this brand new freshman at a private college far from home is walking across campus and what do I see? I see a boy...in his preppy little bow-tie, sitting on a bench eating lunch. "I KNOW HIM! I KNOW HIM!" I was so excited to see a familiar face...of course, I wasn't too sure he would remember me so I kept this discovery to myself for a while.
To make a long story short, my husband and I started dating and he was good friends with Joey. It wasn't long before we were hanging out at his parent’s house, eating their food, watching their TV and generally making ourselves at home. We would do that for the next 22 years. :-)
So back to jonag. If you were to meet Jona for the first time, I suspect your immediate impressions would be as follows: Beautiful. Highly intelligent. Passionate. Quick witted. What you will soon discover, though, is how fabulously talented she is, how well-informed she is, and how wise she is. This is one girl with her head on straight and her ducks in a row.
And speaking of ducks...she has 4 young ones that she is doing a fantastic job raising. Like I said, she's a passionate woman and there's nothing she cares about more than raising good, God-fearing conservatives to take over the world. HA!
I think another defining characteristic of Jona's is her desire to continue growing and changing. Every time I'm with her, I see a marked difference. She's never stagnate, never the same and always better. I love that about her.
There are so many memories we've shared but the ones I treasure the most are the ones where we were just living life:
I remember the Friday nights where they would just drop in with pizza and a movie knowing full well that my husband wouldn't get to stick around because he had studying to do but they came anyway.
Or the night I called Joey at 1am because I was in labor and he was going to come and stay with my 3 year old. Now THAT'S a good friend! (and my son's reaction when he found Joey asleep in our bed and not mommy and daddy was priceless. Just priceless.)
Then there was the time we had just moved out of our house and uh...had nowhere to go and they let us "move in". It still makes me cry just thinking about it...
You see, those are the memories that mean so much to me because the older you get, the more you value the friends who've stuck with you through the thick and the thin of life. The ones that were there when life was good and they were there when life was hard. I can honestly say that there were times when it seemed Joey and Jona were the only friends who hung in there with us--who made the effort to give when we had nothing to give in return. They've shared their parents with us, their home with us, their faith, their amazing culinary fetes, their "junky cars" ;-) but most of all, they shared themselves.
I am so glad to call Joey and Jona our dearest friends and I am thankful to have such wonderful people to go through this journey with. I love them with all my heart.
P.S. When Jona gets her lazy butt out of bed (wink wink) I will get the link to show you one of her many talents. The women are gonna wanna see this!
I like my boss...I really do...but there are just some things I don't get paid to do and today we found one of them.
This morning she asked me if I would shave her neck. Yeah. I know. But it gets better so stay with me.
You see...if she had one of those cute perky little cuts I'd have been cool with it but she has a mullet. Did you hear me? A MULLET! She wears the back up and shaves the hairs at her neck to give her that lovely butch effect.
I thought she was kidding until she reached into her purse and pulled out the electric shaver. I swear to all that is holy, the first thought that went through my head was, "How badly do I want this job?" which was immediately followed by "JEEEEESUS!!! HELP MEEEEEE!!!"
I'm happy to report that my day got so busy, the shave-job never came up again. I'm also happy to report that there is, indeed, a God, and He does, in fact, answer prayer.
Ya know....some people can just be really nasty. For instance, why do people take pleasure in Martha Stewart's unfortunate incarceration? What does it benefit anybody to see her reduced to a prison number?
Now don't get me wrong, she broke the law and justice should be served. I can't help but feel that a nice hefty fine would have probably been just as effective and cost the govt. less $$$ but that's beside the point.
Here's my problem. It just sickens me when small-minded people take glee in her situation. They enjoyed seeing her fall. They enjoyed seeing her humiliated. Maybe they just don't like her personality--rumor has it she's not the easiest person to work with--but still, she's not a murderer, for heaven's sake.
I think the bottom line is people are just jealous. Jealous that she's got money, jealous that she's a successful woman with money, jealous that she represents the "have's" when there are so many "have-nots" in this world.
Whatever the reason, I just can't help but feel disgusted when I see people enjoying her misfortune. So when I see this, it makes me happy. Happy that she's not letting the SOB's get her down. Happy that she's going to be all right. Happy that the bitter people get no satisfaction because even when the chips are down, Martha still does EVERYTHING better than them.
As far as I'm concerned, it's a good thing.
I heard a woman refer to herself as an "exclamation mark" today and I SO understood what she meant by that. She's one of those over-the-top people who lights up a room the minute she walks in. One of those people always cheering others on, always laughing, always living life a little more fully than the rest.
She's also a little annoying. I can say that because I, too, am an Exclamation Mark. We are 120watt bulbs in a 25watt world sometimes, but we never care--we are happy to spread our brand of sunshine wherever we go cause the world just needs to be happier, right?
Then there are the Question Mark people. These are the people that A.) either live their lives questioning everything, or B.) live their lives as a total mystery to the rest of us. I have a brother who's a Question Mark. We call him "The Wind". You just never know what to expect from this one and so you hold him a little bit loosely.
Then there is the Period. These are the people who live their lives making a statement. They're not always aware of the statement they are making even though, generally speaking, they are in complete control of it. Some people's lives say "Lazy" or "Hard-working" or "Loyal". My husband is a Period. His life says "Good". He's just so good to the core that after all these years, it still leaves me in awe.
Of course there are variations. Nathaniel is a definite "!?!" And have you ever met a "!!!" Dear Lord...even another "!" wants to kill the "!!!". They're just too much to take sometimes.
So what are you?
1. I hate condescending people. Nothing will bring out the B in me more than arrogant people. A person who thinks they are exempt from the rules of social etiquette had better stay away from me. I will gladly adjust their thinking.
2. I hate waiting. For anything. It's my worst trait.
3. I hate looking for things. When I was a kid, I thought I wanted to be an archeologist but when I grew older and realized I hated hunting for the scissors that were never put away, the keys that fell between the sofa cushions, the sunglasses on top of my head, I decided this might not be a good match. [Edit: so I became a mother instead. Now I do it for free. ha!]
4. I hate Napoleon Dynamite. I told my sons they are forbidden to own it. If I ever see it in my home, I will burn it, no questions asked.
5. I hate when my husband takes the last of the coffee. I have been known to leave scathing messages on his voice mail when he's committed such an egregious act. That'll teach him.
6. I hate being late. My husband always makes me late. I still love him, though.
7. I hate Tom Cruise for reasons stated in 1.
8. I hate cleaning out the refrigerator. I'd rather chuck the entire fridge and get a new one I hate it so much.
9. I hate hurting people's feelings. Unless you're condescending, then I don't mind.
10. I hate oompa-loompas. They're just so creepy.
I mentioned my love for music in "10 Things I Love..." but let me add to that by saying I ESPECIALLY love introducing my boys to "my" music and having them fall in love with it.
Currently they're taking in all things "Lynard Skynard" and that just warms the cockles of my heart. The two older boys play the guitar and are confirmed Eric Clapton, Carlos Santana, Steve Vai, and Joe Satriani fans. And if that doesn't make them cool enough, they don't even mind a little Josh Groban every once in a while.
So far the only downside to all this was when my son decided to play an Ozzie Osbourne lick on the church platform. Not good. Not good at all.
...to Idiot Land and forget? My 13 year old just informed me he learned how to juggle scarves in P.E. today. What the???
1. I love babies. I love the way they smell. I love the way they cry. I love how helpless they are. I love the nape of their necks and the backs of their knees. I love the sounds they make when they're eating. I love everything about babies. Everything.
2. I love mischief. Mischief should not be confused with danger. Danger is scary. Mischief is fun.
3. I love my husband. He's otherworldly-smart. He's also a gentleman. Always. In 20 years of marriage, he has never been mean to me. He looks damn sexy in his biking gear. He smells good.
4. I love books. I read Anna Karenina this past Fall after a 2 year reading slump. 831 pages of Russian babbling. I hated that book. But that's another post...
5. I love scones. And that's all I got to say about tha-at.
6. I love Mr. T. No explanation needed.
7. I love music. Every kind of music, but at heart, I'm a rocker chick. My kids and I fight over who gets to turn their music up loudest. U2 is my favorite band. Third Day is my other favorite band.
8. I love being Italian. Who wouldn't?
9. I love every other Friday. My husband has the day off and it's our day. No chores allowed.
10. I love God. He's just so good.
P.S. I do not love the fact that I can no longer change my font size. I blame Jim. ;-)
Ok. There's something you need to know about me. I'm not proud of it but you're gonna figure it out soon enough so we may as well just get this over with.
You see....the newest member of the family has a dirty little secret. If I thought there was any way of hiding it, believe me I would, as it pains me greatly to bring dishonor to The Family after you've been so good to me, but this is just too big to ignore, so here goes:
I'm computer illiterate. I am. I'm a technological retard. I should be playing with legos right now but instead I'm over here fiddling around on the computer, acting all baaad like I know what I'm doing, when in fact, I am lucky if I can copy and paste successfully.
So when Jim asks me to RSS the feed or feed the RSS in the previous comment section, [Edit: See, I can't even link you to the comment!] I dont know if he's talking about a restaurant he wants to take me to or a dog he wants me to house sit.
It's embarrassing, people. I know I have NO business being here but I. Cant. Stop. Myself.
So I'm asking for patience. I'm asking for mercy. I'm asking for help. I need help. I need a lot of help. I need the kind of help that you can only find in the back room of a dirty bar where lots of money is silently exchanged.
There. It's done. I said it and I can't take it back. Let the chips fall where they may...I have nothing left to hide.