Betcha thought I wasn't coming back, huh! It's been crazy-busy... I "extracted" my dad from the nut-house on Saturday...I think he was starting to like it there! oy...
I don't think his nurses were accustomed to caring for people who are actually supposed to live, consequently, they never changed his bandages and he got an infection. He's doing well in spite of the inept care and was actually a model patient. I told him he needed to be a little nasty so I wasn't forced to put a bumper sticker on my car stating, "My dad was patient of the month at the loony bin". You all know how I feel about bumper stickers! :-)~
I came home Sunday and have been running ever since. I'm supposed to take a real-estate exam on Thursday but I'm just not ready for it. I'm going to take it anyway, because I have dragged my butt long enough. I'm studying and stressing and pretty much cracking under the pressure.
As I've gotten older, I've learned to deal with stress much differently than when I was young. In my earlier days, I would try to handle everything--as though it would prove that I was a capable adult or something equally pretentious. These days, I'm no longer willing to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders to prove anything to anyone, including myself. I crumble at the first sight of stress because I just do not want to go there ever again. Maybe that's the advantage of age and experience--you conserve energy because you learn that some things are not worthy of your emotional attention.
Dealing with my parents was a type of situation I've learned to handle pretty well. I knew what I had to do--I focused on the imperatives and blocked out everything else. When my mom was upset because we had to make yet another run to the pharmacy, I was able to remain calm. When the dr. said my dad's incision was infected, I was able to address the situation effectively without getting emotionally worked up. As busy as I was, everything was under control.
Where things begin to get problematic is when the demands of life start piling up, one on top of another, and there's no possible way to manage them all. That's when the crying starts. I'm one of those pitiful individuals who cries when she's stressed. Remember Holly Hunter in Broadcast News? Every day at a certain time, she would lock her office door and start bawling like a baby for a good 10 minutes. That was how she managed the daily stress in her life. It really does help! Not that the situation changes but the build-up of emotional pressure is alleviated. So I've been crying a lot this week. I resent that I can't manage everything on my plate but I'm smart enough to know not to even try. I still hate feeling overwhelmed and under-equipped but I know this frenetic pace will end soon and life will become manageable once again.
In the meantime...anybody got a tissue?
Posted by PamCHBF at March 22, 2005 04:12 PM