April 30, 2005

Karnival Of The Kidz

Here's a picture of my sweet Natie. He was about 5 here and looking very sweet.

Posted by PamCHBF at 07:34 PM | Comments (0)

April 29, 2005

Good Friends

Last Friday I spent the evening with 7 of the most wonderful women. We had great food (Everything was dipped in chocolate fondue! HA!), great conversation, great margaritas and a hot tub. Does life get much better than that? The interesting thing was that I only knew 3 of them before I got there, but by the evening's end, I felt like I had known some of them for a lifetime. That's what I love about women--we're able to connect instantly. We don't have to go thru the obligatory butt-sniffing routine--we just lower the guard and let people in. Men, as a general rule, don't seem to do that as easily. I'm not sure why, but I feel sorry for them. One of the women was somebody I'd heard about thru our mutual friend for at least 5 years. After meeting her, I felt gypped out of five years. Another woman is an md. who is heading off to Germany with her military husband in just a few months. Again, I felt a little robbed. Anyway...I was just thinking about last Friday and kinda wishing it was that Friday again. In fact, I wish EVERY day was that Friday. :-)

Posted by PamCHBF at 08:07 AM | Comments (0)

April 28, 2005

If I Could Be...

I got this from Sissy who got it from Ogre. I thought it was kind of neat so here goes:

If I could be a musician...I'd be a great singer. I'd sing ballads and rock songs and silly kids songs. And I'd play the guitar. The electric guitar, and you would weep. Yes, you would weep.

If I could be a missionary... I'd go to Africa and hold AIDS babies and love them into the arms of Jesus.

If I could be an innkeeper...I'd own a beautiful Victorian home with a porch that wrapped around the house. On that porch, I'd have rocking chairs with hand-crocheted blankets for you to rock away your day. I'd have rustic apple tarts and scones with créme fraiche waiting in the morning. There would be an old-fashioned apple tree right outside the dining room window and a hammock hanging from it and an old gnarled peach tree. I'd have fresh flowers in every room and a wood-paneled library with great classics just waiting to be read. I'd make it so lovely, you'd never want to leave.

If I could be a service member...I'd be a fighter pilot because there is nothing cooler on the planet, of that, I am sure. My son wants to be a pilot but I do not want him to be cool.

If I could be an athlete...I'd be an awesome baseball player. I used to play baseball but I gave it up after I sent the third person to the emergency room. They really should learn how to catch a ball!

Ok...so now that you've seen my "If I Could Be..." list, it's time for me to tag 3 people. But before I do, here's how this works:

Immediately following, there is a list of different occupations. You must select at least 5 of them (feel free to select more). You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select 5 of the items as it was passed to you). Each one begins with "If I could be..." Of the 5 you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession.

Once you're done you get to tag three people you think will actually respond - and would have a good answer. Oh, and by all means, don't forget to trackback to this post... and to Ogre's original post so he can keep tracking the progress of his little creation.

If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...

If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...

If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a llama-rider...
If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be a servicemember...
If I could be a photographer...

If I could be a circus performer...(that one's mine!)

So, Sam, Jeff and Bruuuuuce...TAG! YOU'RE IT!

Posted by PamCHBF at 10:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack


If you are a shoe hound like me, you will absolutely L-O-V-E this site I found. Actually, my insurance agent told me about it. What? You don't talk to your insurance agent about shoes? hehe....Anyway, I'm looking for shoes for the wedding and holding out hope that I will find some that I love ( at a very low price) as opposed to the shoes I have already purchased but merely like. Yes, I have affection for them, but I do not love them. How sad it is to pay good money on shoes I do not love when there are millions of shoes waiting to be loved...just waiting for a good home to go to...waiting to be cherished and valued. Life can be so cruel sometimes... Still, I suppose it is asking a lot to like both the shoes AND the dress I'll be wearing, right? A girl can dream, though, can't she? ;-)

Posted by PamCHBF at 09:51 PM | Comments (0)

Lord Vader Beckons...

Well it seems Jim's campaign to get me to turn to the "dark side" is beginning to have its desired affect.

So here's the deal, Jim: I will gladly turn to the dark side under these conditions:

  1. I do nothing; you do everything.
  2. I get to keep my happybadfun template because it makes me happy.
  3. I will not be required to wear a black mask or speak into a fan, "Luuuuke....I am your faaaather...." or go to munuvian conventions.
  4. I get to retain my "perkiness".
  5. All technical difficulties will be referred to you. That includes user issues, as well.
  6. I get to increase my readership by no less than 1539%.

If you can agree to these terms, then, Jim....you got yourself a new munuvian blogger!!!

Posted by PamCHBF at 08:22 AM | Comments (0)

April 27, 2005

Giving Honor Where Honor Is Due...

A few weeks ago, when Terri Schiavo was on the front pages, like many bloggers, I posted a piece about her. At the end, I added a comment about a friend of mine. I'll quote it to save you time:

I have a friend whose wife suffered an aneurysm about 7 years ago. I've watched him faithfully care for their 3 young children by himself. I've watched him lovingly tend to his wife who is in a nursing facility. I've seen him go without the love and tenderness of a partner not because he couldn't but because he chose to honor and love his wife "until death do us part". One day, his children will be old enough to know how worthy of respect their dad is. Until then, they just know that every Saturday, Daddy takes Mommy out on a date and even if she doesn't know he's there he dotes on her and cherishes her for the woman she was because that's the woman he still sees. This is the definition of a hero and I am honored to call him my friend.
In a world that so often places value on fame and fortune and those things that require skill or luck but rarely integrity and good character, it thrills my heart when I see those who are truly worthy of honor receive such honor.

Today I received an invitation to an awards dinner honoring my friend as Sacramento's Father Of The Year for 2005. I can think of no one more deserving than John and just wanted to share it with you. :-)

Proverbs 22:1 - A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, loving favor rather than silver and gold.

Posted by PamCHBF at 04:32 PM | Comments (0)

New And Improved Star Wars Trailer!

Hehe....you GOTTA check out this Star Wars trailer spoof. So go watch it now or I'll sic Darth Vader That Whiny Ass on you! haha!!

Posted by PamCHBF at 01:46 PM | Comments (0)

April 26, 2005


Looky what I got!!! My sweet hubby agreed that I needed a new car for my new career as a real estate agent so he got me this! This is the first car that I've owned that I actually like! It's a 2000 V70 with 50k miles on it. It's in excellent condition and is fully loaded. I would have preferred a new one but he said when I start bringing home some green, we can talk. Til then, I have this sweetie! I think i should name her. Any ideas??

Posted by PamCHBF at 12:56 PM | Comments (0)

Torn Between Two Bloggers....

Ok....Jim over at SnoozeButtonDreams has been trying to lure me over to Munuviana ever since I started this bucket of bolts of a blog. [cool little sidenote because I'm easily distracted: when you google "munuviana" SnoozeButtonDreams is the 4th entry.]

Jeff, the Ponytailed Conservative, made comments here suggesting he is not a fan of Munuviana.

Now...I'm just shallow enough to enjoy having them fight over me (hehe) but the other side of that brass coin is that I have absolutely NO idea what to do.

See, the reason Blogger works for me is because it's simple, uncomplicated, unfettered with detail....a lot like me. It's the Ford Pinto of the blog world.

My fear is that Munuviana will prove to be more blog than I'm equipped to handle. I fear Jim's trying to put me behind the wheel of a high performance race car. I fear that everytime I attempt to take it out for a spin, I'm going to either stall ir or crash it.

So....I need all your expert and not-so expert opinions.

In other words: WHAT DO I DOOO!?!?!

So...talk amongst yourselves, good people...

Posted by PamCHBF at 07:52 AM | Comments (0)

April 24, 2005

See What Griping Will Getcha!

HOORAY! Haloscan is up and running thanks to Jeff the Magnificent! He walked me through it and VIOLA... Haloscan at your service!

[Edit: Jeff has posted an easy "How-to" Guide to adding trackbacks to Blogger if you're interested, but slightly challenged, like me.]

Oh and Jeff, I SO owe you a pizza for that! ;-)

Posted by PamCHBF at 02:17 PM | Comments (0)

April 23, 2005

It's Official: I'm A Girl!!!

Ok...i took the test to find out What Personality Disorder I was. It said i was Obsessive Compulsive, which is absolutely ridiculous. So...after taking all 33 tests they offered, I decided THIS was my favorite.

Your Brain is 80.00% Female, 20.00% Male

Your brain leans female

You think with your heart, not your head

Sweet and considerate, you are a giver

But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Posted by PamCHBF at 09:21 AM | Comments (0)

I Talk Gooder Than You!

Ok...I saw this at both Sissy and Jeff's place. Had I taken this last night around...say...margarita #3...things might not have turned out so well...

P.S. you might need your Super-duper decoder ring to see it. hehehe...

Your Linguistic Profile:

75% General American English

10% Upper Midwestern

5% Yankee

0% Dixie

0% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Posted by PamCHBF at 09:03 AM | Comments (1)

April 20, 2005

Someone Help Me Out Here...

Ok...I'm a little confused on some Catholic issues. Can somebody please explain the following for me:

First, what's up with the smoke changing colors when a new Pip (my term of endearment for all popes) is declared? I have this mental image of Cheech Marin and the cardinals lighting up a celebratory joint and that's just not right, is it?

Second. What's with the name change? Benedict? How can that be ANY better than Ratzinger??? Ok.... I suppose "Pope Rat-Zinger" stirs up mental images of rodents and a little guy in a red dress running around chasing them with a rubber band gun, so yeah...I guess Benedict is better. But not much.

Next. I don't get it. The most powerful religious figure in the world doesn't have to go through senate hearings? Does Joe Biden know about this? Seriously....all they do is vote and he's in? Shoot....even Boy Scouts have to go through more than that to become Eagle Scout Master Dude. I think these catholics need to rethink their whole "Roe Sham Bo" and he's in methods. It's much too tidy a process.

Fourth. The new pope looks just like my Uncle Joe from Jersey. I just thought I'd mention that.

Posted by PamCHBF at 06:35 AM | Comments (0)

April 19, 2005

I'm In Looooooove...

...with Michael Bublé. *siiiiiiiiiiiigh*

That is all. :-D

Posted by PamCHBF at 06:40 PM | Comments (0)

April 18, 2005


Cell phone rings.

I look at the name.


My FORMER boss.


(Why do I have the urge to hide under a table while it's ringing?)

Voice Mail Alert tells me I have a new message.


"Pam...I'm so frustrated right now... I'm about to quit....you can't believe the mess that was waiting for me this morning...I just need a shoulder to cry on right now...call me as soon as you can. Please. *sniffle*"

Hmmm...what to do...what to do. Think I'll go read another blog while I figure this one out...

Posted by PamCHBF at 01:03 PM | Comments (0)

My Girls

As most of you know, I have 3 sons. Now, I love these guys with every fiber of my being and wouldn't trade 'em fer nuthin, but there are times...ohhh there are times...when a woman has had her fill of testosterone and she absolutely must be around people who talk about shoes, and comment on your lip gloss, and tell you you've lost weight when you've actually gained 3 lbs. and who notice that your toenail polish totally matches your purse and just generally make you feel good all over. And let's face it, we need somebody we can talk about our men with!

Now, I have wonderful female friends of all ages, but there are 4 girls who are especially dear to me.They are collectively referred to as "My Girls". Everybody knows who "My Girls" are. They are: Leslie, Bridget, Shannon and Robin.

I met Les, Bridget and Shannon about 3 years ago when we all worked together at Gap. We worked in their corporate department and we were known as "The Winds Of War". Of course, there were plenty of women my age to make friends with, but there's just something about being with young 20 somethings that puts a capital "P" and "V" in a persons "-iss and -inegar", ya know what I mean??? We were a force to be reckoned with, let me tell ya! Our manager feared us and for good reason! We could make ANY situation fun or funny.

One time, Shannon and I were doing some spring cleaning and a supervisor, Ben, was helping out. We had box loads of trash to take to the dumpster so the three of us started making a haul. Now, Ben didn't notice that Shannon and I had been pulling some thick cardboard tubes out of the trash and setting them aside, so just as he was about to close up the dumpster and head back to the office, we backed him into a corner, tubes in hand -bouncing off our open palms- and said, "Ben, you may be the boss in there, but out here, you ain't shi-ite." We then proceeded to beat poor Benny-boy til we were laughing so hard we couldn't stand any more. It wasn't long before Ben was shipped off to Afghanistan and our hearts were warmed knowing we'd done our part for the war effort by preparing him for guerrilla warfare tactics. Ahh...good times...

When Shannon got engaged to a guy in Texas, there was NO way I was going to let her make the move half way across the country all by herself. So we loaded up her tiny Ford Focus with everything she owned and "Thelma and Louise" were off on a road-trip. We had the BEST time. I hadn't driven a stick-shift in like....20 years so that was WAY fun! :-\ We made it from Sacramento to my brother's door in Dallas and never made one wrong turn in those 2000 miles. WE ROCKED!

And last October I had the privilege of being "Mother of the Bride-zilla" (hehe...just kidding Shanny!) What an honor it was! I'm just so incredibly proud of this young girl. She's had some hard knocks in life but she continues to make right choices. Leslie and I spent 5 days bunking together and laughing at Shannon's many adorable foibles and I can truly say...it was one of the happiest days of my life.

Which brings me to Robin. I met Robin when she was just a girl with dreams. Her mother has been one of my dearest and closest friends for about 12 years, so I've had the pleasure of seeing Robin grow into a bright, beautiful, caring, wise young woman. There really is nothing better than having the privilege of mentoring someone who values all that is good and right. Robin is such a girl, which made this past Saturday such a special day. I got to give her a bridal shower where 70 of her nearest and dearest family and friends rejoiced in her up-coming marriage. And in just a few weeks, I'll be walking down the aisle as her matron-of-honor; what a privilege it will be to watch the dreams of a little girl come true on that day.

So even though my home is filled with boys and boy noises, and boy toys and boy smells, all I have to do is spend a few hours with My Girls for that place in my heart, reserved for all things feminine, to be full to over-flowing once again.

Oh, how I love My Girls. Almost as much as I love My Boys.

Posted by PamCHBF at 12:03 PM | Comments (0)


Look at me! I'm not working! Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! :-P

Posted by PamCHBF at 07:38 AM | Comments (0)

April 17, 2005

Self-Tests Are So Fun!!!

So I mentioned last week that I quit my job. I really thought I did, too, but as my friend, Bo, reminded me “Sometimes you find that you THINK you've quit but no one who works with you is aware of that fact.” She gave me a few tips and suggested I run the following self-test to see if I need to be more specific with my quitting.

A) They have taken your name off the phone extension list.

Ok...this has me a little worried. I don’t have my own extension, however, my phone has always sucked and they needed to get a new one which they did in my absence. Should I be concerned that they programmed my home phone number, Kirk’s work #, all 3 kid’s school #’s AND my favorite deli down the street into it?

B) When you come in, they're surprised to see you.

HA! That’s a big, fat YES…..IF having the operations manager fall to her knees while wrapping her arms around your legs and holding on tightly is the universal sign for “CONGRATULATIONS! YOU QUIT! WE COULDN’T BE HAPPIER FOR YOU!!!”

C) There is a box with your coffee mug, Nate's plaster-of-paris handprint and two tubes of lip gloss waiting in the break room - hoping you will come to retrieve it - and when you DO come to retrieve it, they will be surprised to see you.

Oh…I’m doing good here. The only thing I left was a can of diet root beer and somebody drank it. This is a good sign, people!

D) You no longer get a paycheck. Know why? Um yeah, because you NO

I haven’t collected a paycheck in a month! Well, technically, I just haven’t picked it up, but it’s the same thing, right?

So uhm....maybe they're a little fuzzy on what I meant when I said I wasn't coming back, but I bet when I don't show up for work tomorrow, things will be crystal clear! What do ya think?

Posted by PamCHBF at 05:01 PM | Comments (0)

April 14, 2005

Dude! Where's My Finger?

Can somebody please tell me HOW you lose your finger? The funny thing about this story is that there are apparently SEVERAL people who have misplaced a digit. One woman said a leopard bit her finger off when it attacked her. Uhm...excuse my ignorance, but that doesn't explain how the finger ended up in a bowl of Wendy's chili, now, does it? What? Was she standing in the line and Tony the Tiger gave her a smack-down when she ordered extra cheese? The good news is, they're pretty sure it's not her finger cause it's BIGGER than the portion she lost. :-O WONDERFUL! One woman said she lost hers when she was breaking up a dog fight. Again...how it ended up in the chili is still a mystery UNLESS....that's not BEEF in that thar chili. hehe...gives new meaning to the term "chili dog". :-|~

And what's with the $50,000 reward for the missing digits owner? Dude....there are way too many freaks in this world to be making offers like that. Do you think they posted hand-written signs on telephone poles that said" Found: finger tip. orange nail polish chipped. If it's yours call xxx-xxxx. (Please be prepared to authenticate missing finger's ownership by providing a picture of other finger tips.)

Posted by PamCHBF at 12:02 PM | Comments (0)

April 13, 2005

How To Embarrass A Guy In 5 Easy Minutes

A recent IM conversation:

Pam says:

is this Darrell? THE Darrell?

**Darrell says:

not here

Pam says:


Darrell says:

this is **rico

Pam says:

hi rico

Darrell says:

hey there

Pam says:

rico, youre too nice…

Darrell says:

how are you?

Pam says:

you should have pretended to be Darrell

Pam says:

and been mean and stuff

Darrell says:

I don’t know him that well

Darrell says:

I figured I should get to know him a bit more before I imitate him

Pam says:

nah…then you’d feel bad. this way you can do it without feeling badly about it.

Darrell says:

ok start over

Pam says:

i was just going to suggest that

Darrell says:

hi pam, this is darrell

Pam says:

hey punk!

Darrell says:

easy now you old wench

Pam says:

*its hard to be mean when I’m laughing*

Pam says:

oh yeah!

Darrell says:


Pam says:

i told you if you ever called me that again, I’d have to take you down!

Darrell says:

lets go then

Pam says:

bring it on, boy scout

Darrell says:

its been a while since ive had some luvin’

[Insert loooong awkward pause here]

Darrell says:

oh….different takedown

Pam says:


Darrell says:

you said be Darrell

Pam says:

you obviously don’t know Darrell!

Pam says:


Pam says:

are you turning red yet?

Darrell says:


Pam says:

are you going to try and save yourself?

Darrell says:

am I supposed to?

Pam says:

mmm…it might be a good idea.

Darrell says:

I’m not easily embarrassed

Pam says:

nor am I but that wasn’t what I was expecting

Darrell says:

how do you know Darrell?

Darrell says:


Darrell says:


Pam says:


Pam says:

MARRIED friend.

Pam says:


Darrell says:


Darrell says:

off the market friend

Pam says:


Pam says:

NOW are you red?

Darrell says:

a little red

Pam says:

Lol…its cool…I thought it was funny

Darrell says:

that’s what I was shooting for

Pam says:

nice work, sparky

Darrell says:

i gotta run…nice chatting with you

Darrell says:


Pam says:


Pam says:


Pam says:


**names changed to protect the innocent. And stupid. hehe... :-P

Posted by PamCHBF at 10:56 PM | Comments (0)

In Search Of A Little Funny...

Sorry for the long absence--it seems the moment my plane touched down I got a bad case of the "LAWDY LAWDY, I'M TIRED!!!". Last night I went to bed at 8:30 and had to be dragged out nearly 12 hours later kicking and screaming. Ok, it was more like drooling and whining but you get my point, which is, I'm finally starting to feel functional again. HALLELUJAH AND PASS THE NO-DOZE!!!

The worst thing that happens to me when I'm that tired is I lose my sense of humor. Dude, that's like Dolly Parton misplacing her boobs or Jay Leno accidently leaving his chin in the back of a taxi. It ought never to happen! All is not right with the world if I can't laugh at it!

Now I learned many years ago that if I'm in need of a little jocular inspiration the first line of attack is to call the FUNNIEST WOMAN WHO EVER LIVED--my best friend "Bo". Never a disappointment, she was darn funny but so far gone was I, all it evoked was a delicate blip on the humor screen (unless she was just giving me a few "mercy laughs" because she's THAT kind of friend). Mildy funny was all I could muster. Boo-sad for me.

So now I'm getting desperate. I start perusing some websites in hopes of finding a little inspiration. First stop--The Sneeze. The Sneeze is one of my personal favorites. This post made me simultaneously gag and laugh. I wish I'd had a mirror to watch myself-- seeing the look of revulsion turn to fascination turn to hysteria would have been a case study in multiple personality disorder. Like having Janet Leigh from Psycho, Dustin Hoffman as Rainman and Robin Williams as himself all in the same body. Anyway, that botulism corn thingy is just disgusting and I think I'll go look at it again because I'm just that sick and twisted. hehe...

Next I moved on to Television Without Pity. I love this site. Snarky people always make me happy and when I'm happy, I'm funny. First, the Desperate Housewives recap. Have I ever mentioned I like this show? No? Well, that's ok, because it's swiftly starting to get on my nerves. Just ONCE I'd like to see one of these women actually do the right thing. Bree has a lot of nerve being so self-righteous when she has rarely if EVER followed through on a value she's so quick to spout. Susan's sweet, but dopey, [insert obnoxious joke from Jerry here] and the rest are just deplorable WITHOUT being funny. I could handle their complete and utter depravity if they would just. be. funny. Sadly, I think I am no longer in love with this show. Moving on to the American Idol recap...

Now I have to confess that I'm not a big T.V. watcher and even when I find a show I like, I am not a very attentive viewer. I stopped watching AI when the selections were made but I read this anyway just because Simon is so deliciously low. (sidenote: Not so long ago, I went on a message board and caused all manner of havoc posting as Simon Cowell. The mods were not very happy with Simon's nastiness. It was great fun and I was VERY good at being VERY bad. Simon ROCKS! And now you know the REST of the story, Elwood, so SHHHH!!!) Ok....back to the recap:

Page 1 got 1 "LOL" for "If you reached into Ryan's head and pulled out a sweater and made him wear it, that's what would happen." Ryan make it so easy to be nasty and for that I thank his mother.

Page 2 garnered a very long "LOL" for the entire first paragraph. I have a friend who gets all fake smiley when a camera is on. What makes it worse is even when she's got the "plasti-smile" thing going on, she's still prettier than me, and for that, I'm tempted to post the worst possible picture I can find of her. HA!

The whole Constantine thing is funny simply because I think Constantine is smarmy in a....icky, bad-touch sort of way.

I have absolutely no idea who Scott is but now I feel sorry for him. And I hate his dad. Whoever he is.

Ok, Page 3 has forced me to reconsider my position on both Scott and his evil father. I now hate Scott and think his father was right to mock him openly when he first began to sing. Scott sucks. I think.

Page 4. Of 17. Are you fricking KIDDING me??? I came here expecting to be temporarily amused and now you've gone and demanded of my attention span that which it cannot give. Moving away from this site to something for the "attention impaired".

Which leads me to... IMAO. The only problem I have with IMAO being a group blog is there are SO many posts to skim past to get to Harvey's posts! (SCORE ONE for the Suck-Up! *wink wink*)

Harvey gave some Totally True Tidbits About Libraries but I'm pretty sure the only thing that was actually true was the part about Donald Duck's nephew. Do you think we should address Harvey's penchant for lying? Me neither. I give this post an around the world "LOL". Nice work. ;-)

So there. Could life get any better? I mean, how many women leave for 2 weeks and come home to a clean house with the laundry folded AND put away IN the right places, the children are hugging each other and sharing their most precious belongings with the homeless people downtown and the dog has learned to knit. AND I quit my job! But that's another post...

More to come!

Posted by PamCHBF at 05:51 PM | Comments (0)

April 06, 2005

Memories....Light The Corner Of My Crack Filled Mind...

Drugs make you say and do some crazy things. There's a good chance my dad was 100% coherent and in full control of his mental facilities, but I'm blaming the drugs because to do otherwise would be to admit my dad is always like this and denial is just way too fun to not explore fully.

Things drugs make you say after the catheter gets pulled out and you finally pee on your own:

"Man, whiz burns!"

Things drugs make you say after watching QVC for 17 consecutive days:

"Geez...is there anything more annoying than a black fag selling pillows?"

Things drugs make you say because you can't think of anything positive to say when asked "How are you, Dad?"

"I haven't cried today."

Things drugs make you say after getting an enema:

"I WOULD have to get the nurse with the longest fingers."

Things drugs make you say and do when getting an enema:

Pokes tongue in cheek and says, "I think you got it."

Things drugs make you say when your hospital is located in a multi-racial community:

"I saw a caucasian today."

I've had a few mind altering experiences of my own. I saw my dad's butt for the very first time. That was mildly scarring. And if it wasn't more than I needed to process in one day, the nurse prepping him for the OR asked him if he had any nipple rings. I could have lived my entire life never having those words used in reference to my father or the image burned into my mind for all eternity. Thanks, Kim. You wench.

My mom's had her own humorous moments, as well. Last night, we were celebrating the good news over dinner when a waiter with spikey hair walked by. My 74 year old, God-fearing mother said, "I hate those spikes." Being the very forward-thinking mother of boys who may want spikes some day, I said, "Well, Mom, it's certainly not a hill worth dying on." To which she quickly replied, "Well...if I ever see him in the valley, I'm gonna kick his ass."

Nice, Mom, reeeeeeeeal nice.

Posted by PamCHBF at 08:56 AM | Comments (0)

Things Are Lookin' Up!

Well it looks like we've finally turned the corner. Last night my dad had-what we hope is his last surgery. The infection is beginning to abate and if all goes well, he'll be home in a few days. And I will be going home tomorrow! YAY!!!

This has been a long ordeal but I can't say enough good things about his doctors and the nursing staff at the hospital. They have been so attentive and genuinely caring. What a great group of people!

So yay for good news and good health! And thanks for hanging in there with me. I will be a much more entertaining blogger in the very near future!

Posted by PamCHBF at 08:48 AM | Comments (0)

April 03, 2005

Funny Jojo Story Because My Children Ceased To Be Clever...

or....I maybe I just ceased to be HOME!

Anyway, my friend Bo told me this story about her darling little boy, Joe, and did not give me permission to post it but everybody knows that when you tell a famous blogger (like me) stories, they're bound to end up on the 'net. She's just lucky I didn't insert Nate-dawg's name in place of Joe's. ha!

So here's the story:

Joe came home from preschool on Friday and said, "Mom, did you know it's April Fuel's Day today?" and I said, "Yes, Joe, I know it's April Fooooools Day today."

Joe: "Did you know that on April Fuel's Day you play tricks on people?"

Me: "Yep, Joe, I actually knew that."

Joe: "Okay." Pause. "And also - there's a spider on your head."

What a cute boy!

Posted by PamCHBF at 06:10 PM | Comments (0)

Are We Having Fun Yet?

Things are still precarious with my dad. Last night the dr. reopened the incisions, cleaned them out and inserted antibiotic beads which will slow-release over the next 3 days. He'll remove them on Monday and hopefully Dad will get to come home on Tuesday. Keep your fingers and toes crossed! (eyes are optional, except for Jerry who can't help himself.)

The military brother is mending and in good spirits. His lungs were injured in the accident, so they've moved him to a warm, dry climate which is helping in the healing process. He's sounding better every day. Yay!

My plan is to stay thru this week then the sister will take over. I'm very anxious to get back home and to my family. They've all been such troupers. (troopers? w/e)

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers...they have been much needed and much appreciated! Take care!

Posted by PamCHBF at 07:50 AM | Comments (0)