December 31, 2005

Lessons in Political Correctness

On the last day of school before "Winter Break", Natie's class was having a big "Holiday Party". We sang songs about a non-gender specific person wearing a coat in a color that rhymes with “bread” who often repeated a word similar to “Po Po Po”.

As we sang this song about this non-gender specific person who came down the chimney bringing toys for ALL the children (because there's no such thing as a bad or naughty child, just "behaviorally challenged" ones), I noticed Natie's best friend, Robby, was off by himself with a sullen expression. I went up to Rob and asked him if he was doing ok. He said "Yeah" but I wasn't convinced.

Later that evening, I asked Nathaniel if everything was all right with Robby. Nate looked up with a sorrowful look, hung his head low and quietly said, "He's mad at me."


"Why is Rob mad at you?"

"Because he thinks I'm a racist."

*Sigh accompanied by a silent curse word*

"Why does Rob think you're a racist?"

"Because I told him I hate the Germans and the Japanese for what they did in WW2!"

*Sigh accompanied by a “Have mercy, Lord ‘cause I’m gonna kill him.”*

"Well...uuuuhhh...I hate to break the news to you, pal, but you are a racist."

*mouth drops to the ground as fire shoots from his eyes*

"NO, I'M NOT!!! Besides, how was I supposed to know he's German???"

*Sigh accompanied by a silent streeeam of curse words*

"Yes, son, if you hate an entire race for any reason, that makes you a racist. And the fact that you didn't know Robby was of German descent is irrelevant. By the way, in this family, there are no racists, so I suggest you get rid of that brand of thinking or I'll get rid of it for you. Is that understood?"

*Lip starts to quiver*

“Yes, Mom.”

After a little more lecturing from both his father and me, I felt confident that he understood the gravity of the situation and the error of his ways. I let the matter rest, assured that my repentant son would make things right with his friend in the morning.

Later that evening as we were having dinner with Rocket Man's family I relayed the story to them. Finding it rather amusing, my sister-in-law sauntered up to Nate and said, "Hey Nathaniel, I hear you and your friend Robby aren't doing so well these days."

His head hung in shame as he proffered a penitent, "No."

"Well, I'm sure you'll make it right. By the way, did you know Uncle Brad
(his favoritest uncle of all time!) is German?"

With a look of utter exasperation, his head shot up and with eyes that demanded an answer shouted, "WHEN DID THAAAT HAPPEN???"

So the moral of the story--if there is one-- is that no matter how hard you try, no matter how much effort you put into your children, it will never be enough. And in case you don’t believe me, I offer you this:

Nathaniel requested a leather-bound bible with his name engraved on it for Christmas. His delight when he opened the present was truly palpable. Now I ask you, what parent wouldn’t be proud when their child requests a BIBLE for Christmas, huh? Well, my friends, not so fast…for this morning, my sweet wonderful son showed me what he had written in his new bible:

It was the words, “9:45pm 10/26/05 I was saved!”

And right underneath it…was a swastika.

*Sigh. And, yes, a reluctant chuckle, as well*

UPDATE: I'm sure there are MANY great stories of politically incorrect children. If you have one to share, go ahead and leave it in the comments or better yet, post it and link to me! COOL!

Posted by PamCHBF at 05:29 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

December 30, 2005

It's the Great Mom-Off Challenge of Oh-Five!

So Jeff did it after I did it. Now Harvey's getting into the act. Oddy did it a while back. I guess we got ourselves a regular "Mom-Off Challenge"! Yay! I love offing mom...or something like's a picture of my folks on their wedding day in May of '55. Aren't the just so young and beautiful???


Posted by PamCHBF at 08:07 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

December 29, 2005

Are we done celebratin' yet?

So yeah...Christmas has come and gone but the kids haven't! Ha! Christmas vacation seems sooo long this year!

I hope everybody had a wonderful holiday. We had one of the most relaxing Christmas' on record. I think part of the reason is that we did so much of our shopping online this year. What a wonderful wonderful invention this internet thing is. Al Gore is da man! ;-) Another reason is because the boys have hit the "high-tech" age so everything they want costs an arm and a leg. That meant that monetarily speaking, it was one of the most expensive Christmas' but you wouldn't know that by looking under the tree. What a drag to spend all that money and have nothing but stocking stuffer size presents to put under it!

The boys started opening up presents by 6am. It was so fun! We got Nathaniel a bike and he was so cute. He wanted to try it out so badly that before the sun was up he was outside riding around in the dark. We had to whisper so we didn't wake our neighbors but it was so beautiful to watch the sunrise on Christmas morning. Such precious memories to tuck away...

Christian was thrilled to get the mp3 player he requested. Ya really gotta wonder why a kid of 14 years needs something that can hold 5000 songs. Are there even 5000 good songs worth downloading? Anyway...he's happy so I guess that's what matters.

I can remember feeling a little let down by Christmas as I got older and I kinda think Spencer felt that way this year. We bought him an effects pedal for his guitar and some clothing but I think the magic was missing for him. *sigh* Getting older certainly has it's drawbacks.

Rocket Man totally ROCKED this Christmas! I haven't worn my wedding ring in several years primarily because it doesn't fit anymore but also because I don't wear yellow gold any longer. Being in a people oriented business, it became apparent that a wedding ring was a very necessary item. Do you know how weird it is to ask a strange man for his phone number? I know I'm doing it because i want to sell him a house but without that ring, there's always the fear that he'll misunderstand my intentions. It's an awkward and strange thing. Anyway, there was a tiny little box waiting for me Christmas morning with a new wedding ring inside and I LOVE IT! It's just so beautiful! Rocket Man did very well! He calls it his "marking my territory ring" but I call it "The Preciousssss". :-P

We had lunch with Crazy Sister and Media Boy in San Francisco today. They're moving in together so I inherited her totally awesome sofa that doesn't fit in their new apt. Ya's a delicate matter to have someone whose entire belief system is contrary to mine become part of the family. He's a nice enough fellow but there are all these little things that are such a part of who he is that reflect that value system and I just find myself biting my tongue constantly. I'm working very hard not to give him a reason to stereotype me. (I'm sure he already has but i certainly don't want to give him any justification for doing so.) I seriously doubt he has had a relationship with anybody who he would call a conservative or Republican or even devout christian so I feel like I have to handle this relationship with care. Besides, there will be plenty of time to kick his @$$ once we become friends! ;-)

I had to take my car back to the auto body shop today . There a few things that needed fixing after the pipe incident including a leak in the windshield. Ugh...I hope they get it right this time!

Ok...that's it from these parts. I'm really hoping to be better about blogging this next year! Cross your fingers! :-D

Posted by PamCHBF at 09:43 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

December 23, 2005

YAY!!! It's Christmas!!!

Dang! I hope Santa doesn't dock points for being a bad blogger or I'm in BIG trouble!

Christmas is here and I can honestly say I have enjoyed all the festivities leading up to it! The boys are up at their grandparents and text messaging me incessantly with very important questions such as, "How many presents have you wrapped for us?" and "Is it Christmas yet?" Ya gotta love it.

Natie handed me a sealed letter last week and said "This is for Santa. It's a COMPLAINT!" And indeed, it was. Seems the boy doesn't like getting articles of clothing for Christmas. Santa's reply was: Bite me, Shorty.

My last post was about my sister and her mainstream-media-liberal-@$$-boyfriend-from-San-Francisco. Much has transpired since that writing, including me spending several days with Media Boy, but in keeping with the holiday spirit, I will make this one simple remark taken from the Holy Bible and then move on: Jesus wept.

So here's a very Merry Christmas to all of you good people out there. I hope you enjoy the blessing of family and friends and I pray the sweetness of our Saviors birth warm your hearts, as well.

P.S. IF I had sent Christmas cards out this year....this is what you would have gotten. ;-) :-P


Posted by PamCHBF at 03:28 PM | Comments (11) | TrackBack

December 22, 2005

My Momma and my Daddy

My son, Spencer, was messing around with Photoshop and did a little repair work on this picture of my parents. Mom was about 23 and dad was nearer to 20. Was that girl a looker or what!


Posted by PamCHBF at 08:36 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack