December 31, 2005

Lessons in Political Correctness

On the last day of school before "Winter Break", Natie's class was having a big "Holiday Party". We sang songs about a non-gender specific person wearing a coat in a color that rhymes with “bread” who often repeated a word similar to “Po Po Po”.

As we sang this song about this non-gender specific person who came down the chimney bringing toys for ALL the children (because there's no such thing as a bad or naughty child, just "behaviorally challenged" ones), I noticed Natie's best friend, Robby, was off by himself with a sullen expression. I went up to Rob and asked him if he was doing ok. He said "Yeah" but I wasn't convinced.

Later that evening, I asked Nathaniel if everything was all right with Robby. Nate looked up with a sorrowful look, hung his head low and quietly said, "He's mad at me."


"Why is Rob mad at you?"

"Because he thinks I'm a racist."

*Sigh accompanied by a silent curse word*

"Why does Rob think you're a racist?"

"Because I told him I hate the Germans and the Japanese for what they did in WW2!"

*Sigh accompanied by a “Have mercy, Lord ‘cause I’m gonna kill him.”*

"Well...uuuuhhh...I hate to break the news to you, pal, but you are a racist."

*mouth drops to the ground as fire shoots from his eyes*

"NO, I'M NOT!!! Besides, how was I supposed to know he's German???"

*Sigh accompanied by a silent streeeam of curse words*

"Yes, son, if you hate an entire race for any reason, that makes you a racist. And the fact that you didn't know Robby was of German descent is irrelevant. By the way, in this family, there are no racists, so I suggest you get rid of that brand of thinking or I'll get rid of it for you. Is that understood?"

*Lip starts to quiver*

“Yes, Mom.”

After a little more lecturing from both his father and me, I felt confident that he understood the gravity of the situation and the error of his ways. I let the matter rest, assured that my repentant son would make things right with his friend in the morning.

Later that evening as we were having dinner with Rocket Man's family I relayed the story to them. Finding it rather amusing, my sister-in-law sauntered up to Nate and said, "Hey Nathaniel, I hear you and your friend Robby aren't doing so well these days."

His head hung in shame as he proffered a penitent, "No."

"Well, I'm sure you'll make it right. By the way, did you know Uncle Brad
(his favoritest uncle of all time!) is German?"

With a look of utter exasperation, his head shot up and with eyes that demanded an answer shouted, "WHEN DID THAAAT HAPPEN???"

So the moral of the story--if there is one-- is that no matter how hard you try, no matter how much effort you put into your children, it will never be enough. And in case you don’t believe me, I offer you this:

Nathaniel requested a leather-bound bible with his name engraved on it for Christmas. His delight when he opened the present was truly palpable. Now I ask you, what parent wouldn’t be proud when their child requests a BIBLE for Christmas, huh? Well, my friends, not so fast…for this morning, my sweet wonderful son showed me what he had written in his new bible:

It was the words, “9:45pm 10/26/05 I was saved!”

And right underneath it…was a swastika.

*Sigh. And, yes, a reluctant chuckle, as well*

UPDATE: I'm sure there are MANY great stories of politically incorrect children. If you have one to share, go ahead and leave it in the comments or better yet, post it and link to me! COOL!

Posted by PamCHBF at December 31, 2005 05:29 PM | TrackBack

Ha! My greasy little WOP of a dago husband is going to get a kick out of this one!!

Posted by: jona at December 31, 2005 05:45 PM

*ROFL and commiseraing at the same time*

My family moved to Virginia from Idaho when I was six... In all of my six years, I'd never even heard the "N" word. The first day of first grade in Virginia, I heard it, but didn't know what it meant. So, when I got home, I asked my parents - and got a swift swat on the butt and an angry, "We do not use that kind of language!!!"

They apologized once they realized it was a truly innocent question, but it sure left a lasting impression on me!

Posted by: Ponytailed Jeff at December 31, 2005 05:52 PM

Hmmm, perhaps it wasn't a swastika at all and rather, the more ancient form used as a good luck charm by many many cultures? Ok, I tried, just grasping at straws here!

Posted by: Oddybobo at January 3, 2006 08:57 AM

Maybe it was just a badly drawn pinwheel? :-)

Posted by: Harvey at January 3, 2006 09:02 AM

One time Joey was out with one of the girls and we had been teaching Civil War history in school. She saw an African-American man across the store and said "Look Daddy! A slave!" (fortunately he was too far away to hear it!) Ugh! Back to the old drawing board!

Posted by: jona at January 3, 2006 10:03 AM

Ugh, Jona. Spencer did the exact same thing in a McDonald's in a very bad section of town. I wanted to crawl under a rock and hide! hehe...

Posted by: Pam at January 3, 2006 05:54 PM

*pops in*

*sees un-updated blog*

*sighs despondently*


Posted by: Harvey at January 23, 2006 11:48 AM




... *sigh*... no one home, I guess :-(

Posted by: Harvey at February 8, 2006 07:42 PM

*sneaks in*

*rummages through fridge*

*steals beer*

*sneaks out*

Posted by: Harvey at March 14, 2006 11:53 AM
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