May 04, 2005

Awww....Stuff A Matzo Ball In It, Sister!

So....I teach a Bible study every Wednesday. It's a nice little Bible study. We have tea and scones and nice women come and we study things like...the Bible and stuff.

I thought I was a fairly decent bible study teacher, too. Until today. Today I had a truly icky moment in bible study teacherdom. Today I had a Jewish scholar come to my bible study. A Jewish scholar from ISRAEL. A Jewish scholar who likes everybody to know she's a Jewish scholar. Yeah. Somebody kill me now.

Had she smiled pleasantly and nodded knowingly as I expounded on the cultural and spiritual rift between the Samaritans and Jews during Jesus' day, that would have been lovely. But no...she couldn't be content to let me wow them with my almost- impressive grasp of the situation. As I was waxing eloquent, she put her hand up in the air in the universal "STOP IN THE NAME OF THE LAW!" fashion and said with an expression that could only be described as "pained restraint",


"I would like to 'discourse' with you on this matter."

"Oh. Crap. Here it comes." was all I could think.

I immediately tried to recall all the things I'd learned in "Teacher's Survival Training 101" but that only prepared me for 4 year olds. Still, "IF YOU LOVE JESUS, HOP ON ONE FOOT!!!" didn't seem like such a bad idea right about then...

And that was how the next hour and a half continued. I would say something and she would "discourse" about it. At length. Only there really wasn't any "discoursing" since we weren't actually invited to participate in the "discourse" because...well...she's the Jewish scholar, (did you get that? JEWISH. SCHOLAR.) not us.

At one point, she said something that I found interesting and it must have registered on my face because she looked at me and said,


"Well, you have to understand...I'm a Jewish scholar."

to which I immediately replied with,

"Yes, *smile* I know, *smile* and that would explain *smile* why I'm having *smile*one of the most intimidating *smile* experiences of my life. *smile smile smile*"

Now, please understand, I'm very open to people sharing what is on their heart...sharing anything that is pertinent to the study. I don't even mind people being smarter than me--in fact, I'm quite good at it! What I have a problem with is a total stranger coming in, taking over and becoming the center of attention. That is completely out of line. "It's not about you, Tikvah, so SHUT IT!"

Anyway...I tried to be gracious and kind but it was an exhausting experience. The only upside was that I was told I handled it well....which probably is a result of me not jumping on one foot singing, "I LOOOOVE JEEEESUS!!!"

But ohhh how I wanted to... ;-)

Posted by PamCHBF at May 4, 2005 03:14 PM
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