Camp HappyBadFun!

It's That Time Again

Yep, it's graduation season, and with it comes the urgent need to cram a few last minute life-lessons into our kids before we toss 'em out of the nest and see if they can fly or not. I have 2 nephews who graduated from high school last week. One will definitely fly, the other may become a yellow spot on the windshield of life. hehe...

This excerpt has been attributed to Bill Gates, who, I'm sure, wishes he had said it, but in fact, is the property of one Charles Sykes, author of "Dumbing Down our Kids". And as wise as his words are, I can't help but feel Charles left a few things unsaid. Allow me to say them for him (in italics):

RULE 1
Life is not fair - get used to it. And while you’re getting
used to that, you might wanna get used to Top Ramen
for the next 4 to 6 years.

RULE 2
The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world
will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel
good about yourself. Idiot.

RULE 3
You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out
of high school. You won't be a vice president with
car phone, until you earn both. And trust me when I tell you
40k ain’t much so don’t dismiss Rule 5 too quickly.

RULE 4
If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a
boss. He doesn't have tenure. Or Arnold Schwarzenegger
breathing down his neck.

RULE 5
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your
grandparents had a different word for burger flipping
they called it Opportunity. Today we call it “downsizing”.

RULE 6
If you mess up, it’s not your parents' fault, so don't
whine about your mistakes, learn from them. Even better,
write a book telling how horrible your parents were, they’ll sue
you and be set for retirement 5 years early!

RULE 7
Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as
they are now. They got that way from paying your bills,
cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about
how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest
from the parasites of your parent's generation, try
delousing the closet in your own room. AND GET A JOB, YA
MONEY-SUCKING OXYGEN THEIF!

RULE 8
Your school may have done away with winners and losers,
but life has not. In some schools they have abolished
failing grades and they'll give you as many times as
you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the
slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life. But don't tell the
democratic party this, they still believe in Santa, too.

RULE 9
Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get
summers off and very few employers are interested in
helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.
WHAT THE...!?! YOU SUCK, CHUCK!!!

Posted by PamCHBF at June 14, 2005 06:59 PM